I’m happy for the person you’ve become. For the road you walked was long and hard, for the people you hurt were patient and kind, but your paths diverged and the past and those people are behind you.
I no longer hold animosity towards those who hurt me, they have to live with their choices in the same way I live with mine. What is the good of holding on to anger? It only leads to problems and sickness. I am not a self appointed martyr. There is no cross behind my back.
I no longer wish to bring that anger into my life, nor do I wish to spread it by verbally getting things off my chest. In doing so I may further hurt those who hurt me and one bad deed (or thousands) doesn’t need to continue on.
I no longer dream of things that could happen but focus on making them happen in the present. I leave my dreams to be messages, carefully decoded with time, without worrying about what they mean for the future. There really is no future, just an illusion created to keep us away from the now.
I no longer share my plans; the secrecy of the act holds more promise than the winds of words. If they come true, then I will be happy, and if they don’t come to fruition, I will still be happy.
I accept the sadness and the darkness of my mind. I welcome them like old friends, with open arms and open heart. I know they come from time to time and I know they need a release in order to become a light again.
I accept the pain that my body holds. Years of scars twisting inside and outside for others to see. They mark the paths I have chosen, the moments of love and fear. They do not hold dominion over the present; instead they are simply visual points of interest along the road of life.
I accept the beauty that my body creates, the sink of the hips, the limp in my leg. I accept the lines, the muscle, the forms. The way it curls into and around itself in it’s own dance. Maybe that’s what people mean when they say dance like no one is watching. Move your body like it is your lover, slow and fast, out of tempo and to the beat. Treat is like you want to, love it fiercely like it may be gone tomorrow.
Release.